11 September 2008

Counting Down...

Today was a very emotional day. I have stopped counting down the days till I move. I'm looking forward to it but I've decided that by remaining in countdown mode, I'm not allowing myself to enjoy the present. My life has been full of countdowns. I'm always on hold for something; the next move, a new season, a trip, as if today is not gift enough.

It's been nearly 8 months since I packed up and moved back to Florida to support my family following my grandmothers cancer diagnoses. Eight months of living out of one bedroom with two children. I'm ready! As I packed I thought about how I get to be a mother again. Setting up a household, preparing meals, tucking my kids into their own beds in their own room. I look forward to it. But today I'm still a mother and I have opportunities and experiences that my husband no longer has. It's been 7 years since he died. He had so many hopes and dreams for our family that were never realized for him. I want to honor that in appreciating all the moments I have with my children.

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